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I don’t fully believe this is happening again

Writer's picture: Erin JayeErin Jaye

Only made it to 5 weeks this time, when I got the dreaded phone call from my GP on Friday afternoon. I was sitting in my car, happy and excited to be about to head into a function when my phone rang.


"Your HCG has dropped through the floor. I'm so sorry!"


"So I'm about to lose this baby too?"


"Yes Erin. I'm so sorry."


I hadn't told Adam yet - I wanted to be 100% sure bub was ok before letting him get excited with me. And I'm so glad for that.


As I drove directly home, skipping the event, I swiped at my eyes and kept reminding myself that I needed to be composed. I had to pick up a personalised onesie I'd bought to give to Adam when I was confident to tell him. With a big fake smile on my face, I thanked her and drove away with a onesie for a baby I was about to lose.


Thanks to my brilliant luck, by midday Saturday I began feeling horribly ill. And now, Sunday, I write this from a hospital bed. Enormous fevers, intense body pain, throwing up.... it all happened.


That's all for now. I haven't processed this yet.

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